Last week, Kenny Nelson and I had a good discussion on bringing ones heart into their dance. In other words, how to have a kick ass dance, to express yourself.
This also lead to a discussion of expectations in dance. Kenny wanted to make a bet that he could rock the world of any dancer using just basic swing outs, tuck turns, sugar pushes and under arm passes. (I was lamenting that my vocabulary is pretty much limited to those few moves, and how can a person express themselves properly with such a limited vocabulary)
Of course I would not be foolish enough to take that bet. However, I know that people will be more likely to find such a dance with Kenny, with those limits imposed, to still be a great dance not only because of how he feels and his technique at the basics, but because of his reputation, and the dancers expectation.
I am of the opinion that if people know that a person is a great dancer, the chances are higher that they will have a great dance. I know, I know, there are cases where the dance has sucked even though I expected it to rock cause I knew the dancer was a rock star, but I am speaking in general terms here.
People who dance with Kenny know that he kicks ass, and is fun to dance with. He brings energy, style and fun to the dance. So a person will enter into a dance with a higher expectation of it being good than the would if they were to dance with an unknown dancer.
Of course Kenny summed it up nicely is saying that I can use these expectations and tell myself that I expect this to be a kick ass dance no matter who I dance with.
Of course it worked.
Last Tuesday I told myself that every dance I have will be a great dance! And they were!
Every person I danced with had fun! (I hope, and like to think)
And I had fun with every person I danced with!
Or course there are highlights in the evenings dances.
I asked Sara to dance fully expecting a kick ass dance, and it was! (It seems like all our dances have rocked! The song was 'Rock that candy shop'... and we did! )
I placed no limits on what I did, I took chances, I even regressed a bit on techniques in order to push myself. Not every swing out will be perfect and I now realize that is what I have been expecting in my dance. Perfection!
And these expectations of perfection myself have actually been hurting my dance.
I wanted to have a perfect basic, to not make mistakes, as if every mistake I made reduced my innate worth in the eyes of others and in my own eyes. This fear of making mistakes has kept me from expressing myself, but not Tuesday, and not Sunday at the Turn. Truman tried to pound this into my head (I wish I had figured it out before the CU team tryouts)
So, what have I learned? Is there a way to summarize the free flow of thoughts above?
Yes:
1. Expect that every dance you have will be a great dance. This helps build confidence, and is like visualization. I guarantee you that if you go into a dance thinking that it will suck, or that you will mess it up or bore your partner, then you probably will.
2. One can never be a perfect dancer, and there will never be a perfect dance. If you strive for perfection in your dance, you will frustrate yourself. Strive for excellence instead! Strive to push yourself past your fears, and comfort zone. Do not be afraid of making errors. So long as your don't hurt your partner, all is kosher!
3. I am thinking of breaking up dance badassedness into percentages:
15% is raw skill and talent.
50% is hard work. Constantly working to improve.
50% is heart, soul and confidence.
The percentages may not add up numerically, but they do add up.
Tags: confidence, dance, ego, heart
Current Location: In front of the computer, fighting a cold/flu
Current Mood: 
contemplative
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tardyon's journal
optimistic